So this happened
Well, a lot has happened, including the fact that I’ve missed this blog so much that I’ve decided to resume it in spite of having zero time or mental energy, but writing helps me immensely, and sharing my writing is my way to give a more coherent shape to my otherwise confused bundle of synopsis. In short, writing helps me process, and let me tell ya, there’s been A LOT to process in the past months.
Here are some bullet points.
Going back to Europe last October made me realise how much I am in love with New Zealand. This is the place I want to be. This is the only place I’ve lived where I can be 100% myself.
I want to be 100% myself. I’ve been feeling the need to grow and explore my own individuality and do my own thing for a while now. Being in New Zealand really helped redefining myself and I’ve been craving more time and physical space to do so.
Turns out, Giac has been feeling the same. He’s also been feeling a bit stuck and has been missing his own independence. On top of this, we realised that we have only been experiencing New Zealand as a couple so far, and most people know us as “Giulia & Giacomo” as a single entity rather than two separate individuals.
On top of all this, we have started exploring the idea of seeing other people - something that’s always been discussed on a theoretical level - in more practical terms. Giac and I have always talked about the possibility of not being exclusive, and recently we found ourselves in circumstances that led us to believe that this would actually work for us.
Since communication is what Giac and I are best at, we talked about all these things A LOT, until we reach the mutual and very harmonious conclusion that this was the right time to go separate ways for a while.
No, we are not breaking up. We are not getting a divorce. We are not mad or frustrated with each other.
We just need some time apart.
So, a couple of weeks ago I moved out. I found a place with my friend Dom and two other people in Newtown (my favourite neighbourhood), and after a lot of cleaning and re-arranging and furniture op shopping I’m now happily settled in.
Giac and I are still talking every day and seeing each other all the time really, and honestly this is working great so far.
I think we can only do this because of the incredibly strong and deep connection we have built over the past six years together. We have an immense amount of trust and respect for each other and we are open and honest about what we want, need and feel.
Right now, what we need is to grow as individuals in order to be better with each other later on, at some point.
We don’t know when this point will be - we haven’t decided on a time frame - but we constantly check in with each there and make sure we are on the same page. We are very well aware that we are doing something dangerous and scary, but we are willing to risk it rather than feel stuck and not do anything about it.
I will be forever grateful for the incredible amount of support we’ve been receiving, both from people who could relate to our situation and offered encouragement and advice, and from people who didn’t necessarily understand or agree with us but still trusted us and respected our decision.
(Well that was a bit of a bomb to drop wasn’t it?! I hope I’ll manage to keep up with posting more regularly from now on by the way. Feel free to send comments or questions should you have any. Love you all!)