I got to the bottom of it

Good news, everyone!

I found out what caused my Existential Crisis.

Well actually, I found out that maybe I haven’t had an existential crisis at all.

I believe I was simply… Burnt out.

By life in general (this year hasn’t been easy), but mostly by my job.

What was the main reason behind my mental and physical exhaustion? My job.
No energy to take action? See above.
Not being able to be around people? Wait for it…
No space to understand what I want to do with my life? Yup, you guessed it.

There have been many things that weren’t exactly going according to plan (being homeless for over three months, the ocean burning, and oh a global pandemic), but I knew my job situation was the one thing that needed to be fixed before anything else, as well as the one thing I had the power to change.

So… I quit.

I handed in my resignation letter a few days ago, took a week off to use up my sick leave, and after that I will only have to work a couple of weeks before I’m actually done.

Don’t get me wrong: this was not an easy decision to make. I don’t have anything else lined up and will have to live off savings for a little while. The prospect of not having a stable income for the foreseeable future is terrifying.

But I was SO DONE.

I was so exhausted.

I had gotten to the point where I had to take breaks to go cry in the toilet. I would wake up with crippling anxiety every time I had an early shift. I could no longer handle customer service.

I am well aware that I wasn’t showing any of this at work, so my resignation might have come as a surprise to some. But for me, it had been a long time coming.

Anyway, I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty of it. If you want to know more, head on to my Medium profile for a more detailed account of what happened.
Either way, I hope you’ll stay tuned and come along this crazy ride that is my chaotic existence.
Love you all <3