Mental health is real

Since I came back from Canada (yeah I’ve been to Canada) I have been EXHAUSTED. This is possibly due to a deadly combination of jet lag, going straight back to work the day after I landed, moving houses and basically never stopping for one hot second to give my body a rest.
As a result I am currently feeling flu-y and generally pretty shit. This must be my body’s way to tell me to chill the fuck down and just spend a day in bed binge-watching Fleabag (OMG have you seen it?).

But another reason I’ve been feeling tired is that I’ve been working really hard on my mental health.
In case you hadn’t noticed, I am an overthinker - but trying to fix my mental state goes beyond any ruminating I’ve ever done. It is DRAINING. It is so much work sometimes it extends to my entire body and leaves me wiped out.

There are different ways I use to cope with this, social media being one of them. When I’m not scrolling through memes and dad jokes, I mostly use Instagram to get inspired and encouraged by accounts on self love and body positivity.

I often forget that my parents and in-laws follow me on Instagram. For a while, I made sure I’d only post positive, happy content. But recently I realised that didn’t make sense.
My life is not all walking fluffy dogs and hiking in nature and running along the beach. Since I started going to therapy, my priority has been trying to get better - and that looks nasty sometimes.

The reason why I’m seeing a therapist is that I have suffered from anorexia about 13 years ago (glob) and sometimes I still struggle with self-destructing behaviours. I think it’s important to keep this real instead of pretending everything is fine.
Ultimately, everything WILL be fine. But in the process, I need to let it out somewhere - mostly in my journal, but a good chunk of what happens in my head is released on social media.
Following positive accounts helps me immensely, as well as going to therapy and talking to trusted friends, but if you’re not one of those friends or simply live across the globe and don’t get to see me on a regular basis, the only knowledge you have of my mental state is probably my Instagram account.

So please keep this in mind: when I post mental health-related content on social media it doesn’t mean I’m spiralling down a vortex of depression and self sabotage - it means I’m trying to get better.
Yes, I do struggle with what happens in my head, sometimes for days or weeks at a time - no point denying that - and social media is one way I cope with it. But do take everything with a pinch of salt and do reach out if you’re worried, instead of just assuming I want to kill myself.

Thank you friends.
(And also thanks to Self Love Life for the thumbnail inspiration.)